After

[onlypurples]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes.

what had happened just before?
Argument with my best friend that I started on accident. Overwhelming and building pressures at work and home. Fight with my grandmother. Me leaving my crutches at work on accident, so now I have to do without them all weekend - which means I cannot go shopping for things I REALY need, such as new clothes and work shoes. Now because I forgot my crutches, I might not be able to go guitar shopping either! Argh...

what were you thinking and feeling?
Pissed off about all the different situations going on.
Angry and disappointed with myself.
Stupid and forgetful.
Ashamed at myself that I could make such a stupid mistake.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
Everything had been building up for so long and I couldn't take it anymore. I screwed up again with my best friend and I got so upset about causing an argument and saying things I shouldn't have said, that I just cracked and self-injured.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
There are too many "shoulds"... "I should not have been born ME!" - tops it all off. It is my fault though, I let things spiral out of control and let my tongue get the best of me with my best friend. Everything traces back to things I have done wrong. It is my fault things have gone the way they have gone this week. I take blame and responsibility for all of it, including my self-injury.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Lack of sleep, lack of proper nutrition, being short staffed at work, and the time of day -- being right after work. The time of the week also makes things harder for me because everything seems to peak on Friday's and the pattern is obvious.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
Crying and talking to someone. Then the talking turned into shouting at someone and then things spiralled all over again...

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Maybe playing the 15min game? I don't know... I cannot think that clearly yet. I know I did not have the patience to write and talking only made me feel worse. I called my best friend in an attempt to talk to her first and then we started arguing and things just started spinning and then, well, I goofed up.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
1. Think through what I am going to say before letting my emotions get the best of me.
2. Practice being patient when I am not upset so I can have experience being patient to begin with so I can remind myself I was patient at some other time in my life (patience is not a virtue I posess very often...).

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
I don't feel at all resolved. I am still very upset, but I am distracted by the physical pain I have inflicted upon myself. I feel a little bit more calm, but not calm enough to not hurt myself again tonight if things get all tense again or I start thinking about what happened this afternoon/ evening leading up to me hurting myself.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I am still in that emotional place. I am still urging like crazy, but I have stopped self-injuring for a few minutes so I could try and do this coping skill. I always recognize when I get into that dangerous phase, I just don't know what to do with myself when I get there and how to get myself out of that funnnnk so I don't end up hurting myself.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
1. Crying
2. Hugging my stuffed animal?
3. I really don't know... I really, honestly, don't know. Maybe try calling another friend who might be able to calm me down?? I seriously don't know...

[eatredapples]

I'm sorry that you had to self injure. I understand being overwhelmed, though. I hope next time you are able to do something prior to getting so overwhelmed, if that is possible (sometimes all the overwhelming stuff piles up all at once). Maybe some things that might help are coloring or snipping stuff out of magazines. Sometimes keeping my hands occupied with doing something is really helpful. And I hope you were able to resolve the issue with your friend.