hey, I'm new here
Posted: Fri Jan 21, 2005 7:57 am
Hey all,
This is my first post in before & after. I’m very dicouraged right now, so if anybody has any suggestions or thoughts I’d really appreciate them. Thank you all!
have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes, I bandaged them.
what had happened just before?
My boyfriend called and told me he was going back to California. He said, “I’m going back.” Just like that. No attempt to soften the blow.
what were you thinking and feeling? I felt tears coming and I didn’t want to cry on the phone. I hate crying. I hate it when other people see or hear me cry, especially my bf. I hate sounding like the pathetic wimp that I am. So anyway, I reached for my tool almost automatically. I knew it would help me keep the tears in.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? Just wanted to stop myself from crying. I needed to sound strong, to put up the front that the mere thought of his leaving wasn’t killing me. I needed to cut, right then and right there, to hold myself together.
how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw. I suppose a root problem was my obsession with not crying. Maybe if I had more confidence in myself then I wouldn’t have been so panicked about it.
were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? I’m kind of sick, but I don’t think that has anything to do with it.
what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? Zero, zilch. It was the first thing that came to mind, and I did it immediately.
in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? I could have done something else to calm myself down. I could have grabbed ice or taken some deep breaths.
name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. I think the cuts are good enough reminders. I bought this beautiful skirt a few weeks ago as a kind of incentive, and I promised myself that when the old scars on my legs were healed I would wear it as a reward to myself. Knowing that, because I cut, I won’t be able to wear my skirt for a long time will be a good reminder for me.
how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? I know that I need to like myself. I need to be confident enough in myself to be able to stomach the idea of life without a man constantly by my side, and I need to be able to let myself cry. How do I accomplish these things? I have no idea. I was hoping some of you might have suggestions.
are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? I will probably face a lot more bf troubles in the coming weeks. I must be prepared to let myself cry, to not be ashamed of my emotions.
what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. 1. I will take a few deep breaths. 2. As much as possible, I will detach myself emotionally from the situation and try to look at it objectively. 3. If I feel myself starting to lose control, I will remove myself from the situation for awhile. I’ll say “let me call you back later,” and I’ll get alone and let myself cry.
This is my first post in before & after. I’m very dicouraged right now, so if anybody has any suggestions or thoughts I’d really appreciate them. Thank you all!
have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes, I bandaged them.
what had happened just before?
My boyfriend called and told me he was going back to California. He said, “I’m going back.” Just like that. No attempt to soften the blow.
what were you thinking and feeling? I felt tears coming and I didn’t want to cry on the phone. I hate crying. I hate it when other people see or hear me cry, especially my bf. I hate sounding like the pathetic wimp that I am. So anyway, I reached for my tool almost automatically. I knew it would help me keep the tears in.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it? Just wanted to stop myself from crying. I needed to sound strong, to put up the front that the mere thought of his leaving wasn’t killing me. I needed to cut, right then and right there, to hold myself together.
how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw. I suppose a root problem was my obsession with not crying. Maybe if I had more confidence in myself then I wouldn’t have been so panicked about it.
were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? I’m kind of sick, but I don’t think that has anything to do with it.
what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? Zero, zilch. It was the first thing that came to mind, and I did it immediately.
in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? I could have done something else to calm myself down. I could have grabbed ice or taken some deep breaths.
name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. I think the cuts are good enough reminders. I bought this beautiful skirt a few weeks ago as a kind of incentive, and I promised myself that when the old scars on my legs were healed I would wear it as a reward to myself. Knowing that, because I cut, I won’t be able to wear my skirt for a long time will be a good reminder for me.
how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? I know that I need to like myself. I need to be confident enough in myself to be able to stomach the idea of life without a man constantly by my side, and I need to be able to let myself cry. How do I accomplish these things? I have no idea. I was hoping some of you might have suggestions.
are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? I will probably face a lot more bf troubles in the coming weeks. I must be prepared to let myself cry, to not be ashamed of my emotions.
what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. 1. I will take a few deep breaths. 2. As much as possible, I will detach myself emotionally from the situation and try to look at it objectively. 3. If I feel myself starting to lose control, I will remove myself from the situation for awhile. I’ll say “let me call you back later,” and I’ll get alone and let myself cry.
