Trying to Figure out why....

[broken_words]

have you taken care of your physiacl wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
-Yes...it stung when i cleaned them...but they're all good

what had happened just before?
-e*mailed Mike saying that i'm srewing up his life so he should forget about me....and that i truely love him...but love isn't enough...
and my mom was yelling at me....

what were you thinking and feeling?
-confusion, longing for love, longing for happiness for Mike...the best for him...and the best for Angent_Alice....andn i wish i were good enough for my mom...

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it?
-i talked to my friend and she made me feel worse...and i gave up the love of my life...

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw.
-i felt like it was my last resort to feel comfort...i should have talked to Mike about it and called a friend....

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
-i was taking diet pills...(# cannot be said) and i was off my Celexa

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
-I tried writing...but i tried that after self harm

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
-I need to leave my house b/c of my mom

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
-I remember them...but it doesn't seem to be working these days..but i have to admitt ihaven't been trying as hard...

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
-*si* is an addiction and it will never go away...i'll be in recovery for life...so yeah...but i should try really really really hard not to turn to a knife....

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
-yes. I will recongnize it but what can i do?

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
-i need to write...
i will try 1. eating...2. not thinking about *si* and 3. calling friends....

[Jomomma]

Is there a reason you decided to wait to write till after?
Would that be somethign that you can make a point of doing when the urge comes?

[Wandering]

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
-i need to write...
i will try 1. eating...2. not thinking about *si* and 3. calling friends....

Hey, that's brilliant that you've decided on some things to try. It might be a good idea to make them a bit more specific though - for example, how are you gonna make yourself 'not think about si'? Are you gonna do it by distracting yourself by coming on here? Cos I'd guess it'll be quite hard to just sit there and decide not to think about si - I know if it was me I'd start thinking about it even more! And maybe write down three specific friends you will try phoning.

Also, do you have a specific tool/tools you use? Cos maybe you could cover them with a list of things you need to try before you use them?

Please don't think that just because SI is addictive you'll never be free of it - it is possible to break addictions, its just difficult.

Keep going you can do it

Andi x

[Wendy]

Just a note from someone a little (okay a lot) older. SI may well be an addiction, but the further you move from it the less it bothers you. I had many years were it just wasn't an issue at all. The key here is once you break free never turning to it even once again. Kind of like other addictions once can resnarl you up in the behavior. But life really can be free of thoughts and urges to SI. Just have to work on the self care aspect of things and letting other people into your life (not only certain fairly unavailable people).

Take care!

Wendy