what had happened just before? i was lying in bed. and feeling a little lonely. and i could feel things building up inside of me. i wanted to cry, but i couldn't. then bill stopped talking to me, and i felt everything go away. and realized what i had to do.
what were you thinking and feeling? umm i think i said it in the last one. lonely, mostly. and thinking how no one would know, and it wouldn't be terrible.
why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was teh final straw? what was it? when bill stopped talking. he was the only thing keeping me sane.
how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events thatled up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decisiona nd not arrived at the final straw. well he had to go, but i knew he didn't want to. it wasn't fair of me to want him there, when it was time for him to sleep. so i couldn't really change much except realizing he needed sleep, and i probably needed it too.
were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how? no drugs or alcohol... but i guess it'd been a long day, and i hadn't slept too much the night before. i try not to stay up late when i know it's been a rough day.
what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work? sad thing is, i didn't try anything. old habits die hard; i realize now that the first thing that went through my mind was si'ing.
in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they? sleep. not sure if it's coping or avoiding. but i should have slept because i knew i needed it. or finding someone else to talk to. coming on bus.
name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again. try to breathe, and clear my head before i decide i need to decide. hug a teddy bear and remember no matter what i'm not alone.
how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution? i don't think there was a real situation. it was silly.
are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation? definately. i'll pay more attention to the amount of sleep i get, and tell myself when i should go to bed. because i always get more emotional at night, when i have too much time to think, and i'm alone.
what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying. bus, calling a friend. writing, music.
comments would be nice, but not needed. i think it was just a slip.
a good one, to remind me that i don't need it, i only sometimes think i do.x
