bus

I was feeling high SI urges for almost a week, saw my T yesterday and still did for a while and then they dropped down throughout the day and this morning I was doing well. By this afternoon no thoughts or urges...and then suddenly out of the blue at work tonight I just got this sudden "I need to" feeling and I don't know where it came from or why or anything. I'm so exhausted fighting this and trying to figure it out and everything, but yet I know that I need to do all this if I want to stop which is what I want to do. This one was almost worse than what I was feeling before b/c at least before I could identify what set me into the wanting to SI mode...but this one I can't figure out and there was no real warning which is what worries me the most. Anyone else experienced this while they were working towards stopping? Any thoughts or suggestions would be appreciated.

I've had those feelings a lot.

It seems very unfair (at least to me) when I've been working so hard trying to overcome the urge to SI because of one goal- and I'm almost over it/pretty sure I'm not going to and then- BAM! I get super-urgey for what seems like no reason in particular.

I don't really know if that helps, but you certainly aren't the only one.

I can't explain it really, but I'm glad you are trying and looking at it. I know you are tired of fighting urges, and I can't even say how incredibly proud I am you made it through all those strong feelings before. You are a very strong person and I have faith in you.

JoAnna

i think that for me it's always the little things that make me SI. sometimes, when something huge and really stressful happens, (although i usually do SI), sometimes i don't. i don't need to. but when i least expect it, when i think i'm fine and dandy, it's then the urges are the worst. hm... that's a good question, and a universal problem. i don't realyl know the answer, but you're not alone in your wondering.