Before Posts(Questions To Answer Before a Slip/During Urges)

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Before Posts(Questions To Answer Before a Slip/During Urges)

Post by sine nomine » Sat Aug 07, 2004 9:08 pm

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  • How do I feel right now?
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

updated by mab

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