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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I will feel 'relief' and my overwhelming emotions will be eased ... for a while
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? It will bring relief and take away some of the overwhelming feelings
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? I want to feel in control. Logic says this will put me farther from my goals
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? the relief will last longer the deeper I c*t. I will probably c*t again
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?Cuddle with my kittar. It will not change my situation. I will still feel like sh*t.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?I will feel like a failure in the morning, and may well end up back in the hell ward. I will probably still feel sh*tty, but I'll be out of the hospital.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now? I can cuddle my kitty, have some water, talk to my mum.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
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More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I'm feeling stressed out and out of control. I feel like the pdoc at the hospital taking away my meds has brought me to this point.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?Oh, so many times Sometimes I did something constructive, sometimes I c*t. I don't remember
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?cuddled my kittar. Talk it out
• How do I feel right now? STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself? in control
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? I will feel in control over my feelings. Regretful
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? I don't think so
• Do I need to hurt myself? I feel like that's a yes

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.
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Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? I don't think so

why do you say that? you have done so well in resisting some negative urges in the past and in getting help when necessary. everything has up and down times but there are many things that are looking up for you, and it will continue to improve in the future. learning to deal with stress, feeling out of control or feeling bad, i think is very likely to happen if you continue to work on yourself.

i've also found it very triggery when i feel out of control. the key i've learned is that you *do* have control over some things and you need to focus on those things. you have control over whether you get out of bed, you have control over whether you have a shower today, you have control over what you wear today. you have control over whether you choose to si and how much you si. you need to write down things you can control and what you plan to do. the ideas you wrote down of cuddling your kitty etc - go do them, and see how you feel after that. if things are still hard write down, what now, what else can you do? your situation *will* change, doing something that you can control will help you feel better. feeling like crap won't last forever.