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Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  Hurting myself might relieve the anxiety I'm feeling. It's helped in the past.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  It'll possibly relieve the anxiety, it will also make me frustrated with myself for marking up my body.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  Hurting myself might help in the moment, but it won't get me closer to resolving the divorce situation.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  It will get me through the night and I can compartmentalize tomorrow while I'm at work, then I should be able to see friends after work.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  I could take more anxiety meds, but I have technically maxed out on them for the day. I could go over the recommended dosage. The main side effect is it will make me drowsy which is fine since I need to sleep.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  I'll be annoyed with myself if I hurt myself tomorrow. If I take more anxiety meds I'll probably be a little tired in the morning, but I can have coffe to remedy that.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I really want to be held and protected by someone right now, which is not possible. The next best thing is to try using extra blankets to simulate the pressure and take some extra anxiety meds.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  Anxious and meds not helping relieve the shakiness/ anxiousness. Six months since my husband left today, tired, stressed from work.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  Not this particular situation.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  Taken anxiety meds, but have maxed out on them today. I can try deep pressure with my blankets.
• How do I feel right now?
  Anxious, stressed
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  Calm, like I can breathe
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  Annoyed with myself, probably some pain where I hurt myself.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  No, it's today. I don't have a T appt until Dec 9th.
• Do I need to hurt myself?

To sleep, I might have to to relieve the anxiety.

Hey tkdtiger
I hope your doing alright. Don't have many words at the moment, but we're here for you and we care for you.

Thank you. I ended up being safe the other night. Hopefully I can keep up the two day trend.

That's great to hear! Just keep taking things one day at a time and focus on today, the here and now.