bus

Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

• have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
  Yes.
• what had happened just before?
  I was crying... walking about my room... trying to distract myself by reading.
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  I was thinking about what a crappy failure I am... how I don't have any money and I need some for various things... and how I've eaten too much this evening and now I feel fat and disgusting. And thinking how hurting myself helps and how I wanted to do that to help myself.
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  Bizarrely I think the final straw was a text from my mum saying she'd lend me some money... it was a really nice text and I felt so unworthy.
• how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
  I guess I could have used mindfulness and distraction to not get to the final straw... I did try, and put it off for a while.
  It started with eating too much... I felt guilty and disgusting about that... then I remembered the money problems and texted my mum... then I ate more stuff... I just kept thinking about it all in my mind and playing it over and over... I suppose I could have not eaten as well. That would have helped.
• were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  No. A bit tired because of work, but there's not a lot I can do about that.
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  I tried reading to distract myself, and eating healthy food to make myself feel better. Reading worked for a bit but I couldn't get into it enough.
• in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
  I could have tried my mindfulness techniques, and the compassionate mind techniques I've looked at with my therapist.
• name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  Um... not sure about this... I'll just try to remember them?
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  It's not resolved but I feel better... The money stuff won't be solved until the end of the month or possibly the end of next month, depending how much I get paid. The eating stuff... well, I guess I'll feel better once I don't feel so full. But I'll still feel fat and horrible... I guess I just carry on trying to reduce my weight.
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  It's likely, I guess, since the things that started it off are still there. I'll try to notice a bit sooner next time and head it off with mindfulness etc.
• what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
  Mindfulness
  Compassionate Mind
  Distraction