Before

[Butterfly.]

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  I am frustrated because I am struggling to sleep. I want to release any pent up tension. I so often get a release that will help me to relax and then sleep. I've had nearly a week of low mood and a few times I've SI'd. It's helped, and I think that is what is driving it now.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  I've had countless sleep-less and low sleep nights. How I dealt with it, I can't remember. Caffeine usually factors in the following morning. If I hadn't already, I often take my sleepers when I can't sleep, but I've already taken them tonight.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  I took my sleepers when I first went to bed. I tried my eye mask, soothing music, putting the fan on, using a soothing crystal, and now I've had a cup of tea. I can go back to bed and try and sleep, before giving in to the urge. I can possibly double dose my sleepers in a worse case scenario, although it is not a good idea.
• How do I feel right now?
  Tired, frustrated, exhausted, flat, bloated
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  Release, pain
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  Relaxation and relief. Tomorrow - pain and stupid
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  I need to get my sleep back into a good cycle. If I can get my sleep back together it might help (its been out of whack for a little while now).
• Do I need to hurt myself?
  I want to, but no.