new mod
Posted: Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:27 am
i feel a bit weird posting here after writing a "before" post, but i wanted to say hi rather than just start modding without any intro.
i've been posting on b&a for quite a while. most of the time there were few or no replies to posts and i didn't really need to revisit my posts because the urges were gone for the time being. but there is something to learn from posting here, about what triggers you, and what strategies help. let us (other b&a mods) know if you specifically don't want replies, because we will try and give feedback and ask if the before/after questions helped.
*random note*
the question about "honoring self-protective instinct" often gets skipped but i find it really helpful, so i'll describe how i use it.
si is a protective mechanism, a way of stopping yourself from feeling pain or from thinking what you're thinking. the urge to si can get to be a shortcut for your brain to tell you that you are not ok. recognising this can make si less about the act and more about the feelings that surround it.
in my experience, my parents were not all that concerned with teaching me how to deal with emotions, how to protect myself from my feelings. their response is denial, which really doesn't work. being my own protector is a role i want to encourage in myself and in others.
self-protection doesn't have to mean disconnecting your feelings, or denial. you are worth caring for, and your feelings are worth listening to. protecting myself from overwhelming sadness is often about comfort - hot drinks, baths, candles, food. protecting myself from anger is about expressing it without turning it on myself. the expression can be writing it down, or listening to music. self-protection is loving yourself, although it can be very hard to feel worthy of that love/care. you don't need to be worthy, you can just try something that might offer comfort to see if it works.
sorry if that ramble was not exactly clear, i'm still struggling a bit with my emotions. anyway, b&a is a great forum, thanks to everyone who posts here and reads the posts.
i've been posting on b&a for quite a while. most of the time there were few or no replies to posts and i didn't really need to revisit my posts because the urges were gone for the time being. but there is something to learn from posting here, about what triggers you, and what strategies help. let us (other b&a mods) know if you specifically don't want replies, because we will try and give feedback and ask if the before/after questions helped.
*random note*
the question about "honoring self-protective instinct" often gets skipped but i find it really helpful, so i'll describe how i use it.
si is a protective mechanism, a way of stopping yourself from feeling pain or from thinking what you're thinking. the urge to si can get to be a shortcut for your brain to tell you that you are not ok. recognising this can make si less about the act and more about the feelings that surround it.
in my experience, my parents were not all that concerned with teaching me how to deal with emotions, how to protect myself from my feelings. their response is denial, which really doesn't work. being my own protector is a role i want to encourage in myself and in others.
self-protection doesn't have to mean disconnecting your feelings, or denial. you are worth caring for, and your feelings are worth listening to. protecting myself from overwhelming sadness is often about comfort - hot drinks, baths, candles, food. protecting myself from anger is about expressing it without turning it on myself. the expression can be writing it down, or listening to music. self-protection is loving yourself, although it can be very hard to feel worthy of that love/care. you don't need to be worthy, you can just try something that might offer comfort to see if it works.
sorry if that ramble was not exactly clear, i'm still struggling a bit with my emotions. anyway, b&a is a great forum, thanks to everyone who posts here and reads the posts.
