Hopefully not Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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Snaffle-Mouth
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Hopefully not Before

Post by Snaffle-Mouth » Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:04 pm

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
  • how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
    The tense horrible feeling will go away and I will feel relaxed.
  • what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
    It will bring peace. It will take away my 25 days SI free.
  • how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
    I want to stop feeling agitated, angry and frustrated - SI will fix all of those feelings.
  • if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
    The relief will last until I go to sleep, and when I wake up in the morning I will feel better.
  • what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
    I don't know. I could try to sleep, but I'm too agitated and I think lying there with no distractions would make the urge worse. I have nobody to talk to and none of my distractions are working.
  • how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
    I might feel a bit guilty or anxious that someone would see. But I'm already hiding scars in that place anyway, so it wouldn't really make a difference - I'm already screwed if someone sees. I think I will essentially feel the same tomorrow whether I SI or not - I will probably feel fine in the day and horrible at night, like always.
  • what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I really want to calm down and feel comfortable rather than like my insides are hurting. I don't know how to do that.


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer
  • Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
    Because I'm getting pathetically socially anxious again and cutting myself off from my friends and I can see my life heading back down the path that led to a breakdown a couple of years ago, and it's making me frustrated and panicky.
  • Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
    Er, last time I felt like this it was constant and I ended up dropping out of school and becoming a recluse for about 6 months. So I didn't really deal with it, did I?
  • What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
    Posted on bus a lot. It hasn't helped that much. I don't know what else to do.
  • How do I feel right now?
    Angry. Frustrated.
  • How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
    Relieved, calmed, happy.
  • How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
    Maybe slightly guilty or anxious, but probably fine. It would be in a well hidden place and I'd take care of it properly, so I'd feel like there was nothing to be distressed about.
  • Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
    If I knew how, I'd have done that this time.
  • Do I need to hurt myself?
    Not "need" in the strictest sense of the word. I will survive if I don't. But it's definitely more than "want". Maybe "crave" would be a better word.

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Snaffle-Mouth
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Re: Hopefully not Before

Post by Snaffle-Mouth » Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:03 pm

Urge = conquered.

:)

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Stellaria
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Re: Hopefully not Before

Post by Stellaria » Tue Jul 12, 2011 11:49 am

Well done! :)
Challenges, hugs, and just about everything welcome. :bfly:

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