after

[half/hearted]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes.

what had happened just before?
I was writing down how I felt and all I could think about was cutting.

what were you thinking and feeling?
I was in so much pain. I couldn't stand it. I was just thinking about cutting. I couldn't get my mind off it.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
No final straw. Just stress building up.

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I could have tried to focus on something other than SI. I let it circle around in my head too much.

were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
No, I wasn't under the influence of anything, I was taking my meds as prescribed, and I've been sleeping fine.

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried writing and listening to music. It didn't work much.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
Art.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
1) I will keep my tool in my art box so that I will look at the art first.
2) I will leave myself a note attached to the tool saying "Draw first."

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
It was because my birthday is coming up. I can't change that.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Every year, I'll be in this place. I don't know how I'll cope every year.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
- Writing down how I feel.
- Drawing a picture about how I feel.
- Listening to CHEERFUL music (not the sad stuff I was listening to before).

What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
I was alone, and I had my tool nearby.

Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
I made the opportunity. I could have put my tool away somewhere hard to get to; I could have stayed around people like I'm supposed to when I'm depressed.

What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I have no idea. I would have just "toughed it out."

If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
It would have decreased.

What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
Being alone, having a tool, and wanting to SU.

If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
I would feel completely helpless.