bus

**poss drugs - no si


Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.

• have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
  irrelevant.
• what had happened just before?
  I was stressed out and depressed. Not really tied to a specific incident.
• what were you thinking and feeling?
  Severely depressed. No motivation for anything. Super stressed about school, worried about the future, hopeless.
• why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
  It was convenient. It was easier than dealing with what I was feeling. I would say that feeling as low as I was was kind of the "final straw". That plus the pressure of school, and the next couple of months, other current things going on. Having drugs and knowing that I had them and that they were the last that I had I think added to it. It made me anxious and added to the other pressure because I knew I had less to "fall back on"
• how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
  I think asking for help before it got so bad or even when it was bad would've made a difference. Trying to stay on top of things and proactive from the beginning would've helped. Maybe even just working on things that would've helped alleviate some of the pressure/stress instead of getting high would've been better.
• were there outside factors like drugs, alcohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
  I was sleep deprived. In the future, I can tell myself that I am sleep deprived and that it is probably making my feelings worse and I should try and get some sleep and then work from there.
• what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
  In all honesty, I really didn't try a whole lot other than just using. I think I maybe tried a few other minor distractions half-heartedly.
• in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
  I think trying to actually solve my problems instead of make them go away would help. I was in a situation where I was triggered for si and drugs, and felt like using was the lesser of two evils, and gave in to it. I think trying to really address my feelings and find ways to help myself healthily will help.
• name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
  I will ask myself why I am using and if there is something else I can do to ease the situation that will help me more in the long run.
• how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
  Pretty much the same. My mood in general has been up and down but my feelings towards those situations have stayed the same. They are not resolved. I need to get help for my mental health and for the sake of my future. Asking for help when I need it in the future will give me more flexibility and help me communicate.
• are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
  Yes, I am positive I will be. I will recognize those feelings by addressing the fact that they are okay to have and that they are part of a sickness and that I am not defective or pathetic or weak for having them. I will ask for help.
• what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.

I will ask for help.
I will ask myself if using is really going to help me in the long run.
I will make a list of the things I can do instead and how they will help me over using.

About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

• What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
  I was feeling awful and didn't want to deal with what I was feeling.
• Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
  Both.
• What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
  If there was no opportunity, in all honesty, I probably would've done something else maladaptive.
• If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
  increased.
• What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
  Having drugs, being able to get drugs (especially easily), feeling really depressed/stressed/anxious
• If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?

A little desperate.