Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It won't. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
nothing. this situation is out of my hands, I have no control but it will affect a major part of my life - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to have control of me and my life. dammit. both - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
idk. This situation is beyond my control and I need relief and this situation is not going away for some time. idk - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
idk, anything I think of puts me in an atmosphere to hurt myself one way or another. It won't change the situation. Nothing will. I have no control over my life again and I want something to bring it back. I guess the question @ how long will the change last is asking me if si will help the situation. No but my life is going back to a mess again. What will I do then? idk. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
numb. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
scream it's not fair. si. idk what that even means.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
Because I am being forced into a decision that I don't want, and I have no recourse that will solve it. Damn gov't. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes. I cut. relieved but ashamed - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
nothing. idk, I am so overwhelmed atm. - How do I feel right now?
pissed off and majorly triggered - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
releived but guilty. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
stupid, even stupider. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
ha, I wish. I have no choice in this matter. - Do I need to hurt myself?
i want to but....
Kaylee
