Before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

Moderator: treasure

Post Reply
User avatar
lilabean
settling in
settling in
Posts: 144
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:43 am
Gender: female
Location: los angeles, ca

Before

Post by lilabean » Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:19 am

[*]how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It would provide a release that would flush away these intense emotions, the pain

[*]if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
I know it will onl last for the rest of the day or maybe even a bit into tomorrow but the pain will come back, because it never really goes away

[*]what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I have tried reaching out to friends but everyone is at work or has their own lives to live and I ahven;t been able to get ahold of anyone and none of my coping skills (knitting, journaling, etc.) seem to be enough to get me through this right now

[*]what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?[/list]
I want the safety and comfort of the residential place I was in, where there was always someone to talk to and get support, I want to not feel so lonely


[*]Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
My emotions are so overwhelming, I cant stop crying, I am a wreck and I feel like it's the only way I'll be able to calm down

[*]Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
the last time I felt this way, hurt this much, I attempted suicide, but I swore that would never be an option again, so I am stuck with this

[*]What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I called a friend and she helped to calm me but it only lasted for a little while, it has past and I am unglued again

[*]How do I feel right now?
I feel completely and utterly hopeless, I want to stop SI, it's ruining my life, but it's become like an addiction. And while I know it's still a choice, it feels like a compulsion, I just can't stop and I don't know where to go or how to get the help I need

[*]How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
there would be a rush of calm, a release, like all of the pain would just uncoil and fall away

[*]How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
For a little while I will feel good, just from the release and comfort I will get. Tomorrow morning I will be upset with myself for giving in, but I will try to make up excuses, like "I had to do it" as if I didn't have a choice, but ultimately I do
Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 16 guests