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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  In no way at all.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  Nothing. It will make me afraid to go to the swimming pool, so I won't be able to exercise. And I won't be able to see my nieces swim. And that will suck.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  Like I've done everything I can do. Like if it doesn't happen it won't be because of something I didn't do. Hurting myself will not make me any closer to feeling this way.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  Hurting myself doesn't seem like the best option.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  Play games. Tell my friend I'll go to dinner with her and her mother tomorrow. It will make me feel good, because I'm doing more stuff with my friend.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  I'll feel like shit. I'll feel great, because I'll be going out with my friend.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

Play games. Communicate with people