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tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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-manda-
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 45
Joined: Sun Jul 03, 2005 5:32 am
Gender: Female
Location: Oklahoma
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Post by -manda- » Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:17 pm

* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
:blkstar: I feel really out of control and really depressed. I have been so stressed out with school and my life in general.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
:blkstar: I have, but not this bad. I was able to just ride it out and avoid doing anything, but this time is different.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
:blkstar: I binged, which actually made everything worse.
* How do I feel right now?
:blkstar: Out of control and really alone. I don't feel like I'm real.
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
:blkstar: At ease. Like all the bad stuff is being released from my body. Relieved.
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
:blkstar: Guilty and self-loathing. I'll hate myself and want to punish myself. I'll be scared that my fiance' will find out and leave me.
* Do I need to hurt myself?
:blkstar: I think I do, but a small part of me knows I shouldn't. I just want to feel better, at least just for a little while.
"You make it sound so easy to be alive, but how am I supposed to seize this day if everything inside of me has died?"
~The Spill Canvas~

"Self-injurers are often bright, talented, creative achievers - perfectionists who push themselves beyond all human bounds, people-pleasers who cover their pain with a happy face."
~A Bright Red Scream~

“Only after disaster can we be resurrected. It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Nothing is static, everything is evolving, everything is falling apart.”
-Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club-

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