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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  I'll feel in control
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  I'll feel in control, I'll feel like I control my feelings. But if I do I'll feel afraid someone will find out I've been cutting after all these years free
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  I just don't want to hurt any more & I don't know what's going to help me
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  At least till the morning. Maybe I'll be able to sleep. Then in the morning I'll be busy with school & work
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  I could text someone, but I'm afraid to wake anyone. I can just sit here, but I've been doing that for hours.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  If I cut I'll probably feel embarrassed, if I find a way to not I'll pretend I was never upset at all.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

???

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  I feel so lonely I am sick to my stomach.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
• How do I feel right now?
  sick. nauseous
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  i dont know
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  its inside me
• Do I need to hurt myself?