write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
nothing will actually change. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it'll give me those chemicals i need to feel happy, at least for a little while.
but later on i'll feel shitty again... idk. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
i want to be content with life in the long run. hurting myself isn't gonna do jack shit for that.
i mean, unless somebody actually noticed/gave a damn for once in my life, and got me help.. but that's not likely to happen.
i'll still have a chemical rush. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
probably like... 30 mins-1 hour tops. depends on how bad it is.
then, i dunno... maybe i can get some sleep after that. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
i could play my ds... it won't change anything, i mean, there's nothing to change. it will just distract me. and then, i don't know, i'll probably continue feeling sorry for myself. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
i'll feel shitty tomorrow if i hurt myself.
i'll feel shitty tomorrow if i don't hurt myself. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
right now... idk. i really just want to sleep... stop existing for a little while.
idk.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
i don't know, i'm just tired of everything... tired of this place, tired of my dad, tired of myself. tired of being sad. tired of living a non-life. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yeah, i've been here before. usually i either hurt myself or suck it up and wait for it to pass... but i never know how long it'll take to pass. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
eh... i haven't really done anything. i've failed at sleeping, played my ds, ate... though eating makes me feel worse, so...
i don't know, i could make some tea or something. keep playing video games. keep being useless.
this is dumb. - How do I feel right now?
like ass.
kind of useless, unloved, lazy... not worth much. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
stupid. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
good for a while. stupid again tomorrow morning. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
i don't know what the hell it is. it's just come out of nowhere.
idk. - Do I need to hurt myself?
no... i don't need to do anything.
i just really want to.