after

[tears1315]

* have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
No, I never actually do
* what had happened just before?
I had just woken up and was lying in bed
* what were you thinking and feeling?
I was thinking that I'm extremely stupid and wondering why i always fuck up and do stupid things
* why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I really wanted to cut last night, but I took some sleeping pills and went to sleep. In the middle of the night my friend called me and I told her that I had called my ex and it didn't exactly go over well (which is why I was in a shitty mood) and she told what I already knew that that was a stupid thing to do. Well, I ended up crying myself back to sleep and this morning when I woke up after lying in bed for about two hours feeling completely retarded I just gave in and cut.
* how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I think just lying in bed allowed me to wallow in my thoughts which weren't exactly positive and maybe if I would've tried to physically make myself get up before I felt so bad I might have been able to avoid it
* were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I don't think so, I never sleep well, but I deal
* what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I guess I didn't really try anything, I just wanted to sleep it off
* in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I'm not really sure that anything else would've been effective. while I know it was the wrong thing to do I am a bit more calm.
* name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
* how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
The situation is not resolved and it will never be able to be resolved because my ex hates me and won't even say hello to me. Really as far as a resolution I don't know what I'm going to do, for now I"m just trying to take it one day at a time
* are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yes. I'm not sure.
* what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I will try to call someone
I will journal out my feelings and
I will try not to let myself be alone


About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.

* What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
Just being alone and having no one around
* Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
it was already there
* What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
I probably would've made the oportunity
* If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
probably would've increased
* What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
all of the above
* If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
in panic