Before

[noldo]

Questionnaire 1

Date: 03.10.2009 Time: 21:48

1. Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point
I’m feeling sad and somehow down and tired. Don’t know exactly what has brought me to this point. Maybe this is the expected crash though I believe more it is because of Andrea’s way of being and tiredness.

2. Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Maybe not exactly like that but generally yeah, I did – lots of times. I did different things to deal with it, I think, it has been some time and I don’t remember clearly. Ranging from just cutting to distract myself with things or let feelings out in a creative way which is kinda difficult for me when I’m so tired. I don’t remember anymore how I felt then.

3. What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Hmm, I did write in my diary which was good and made sure I haven’t eaten too much cause I really feel like that. I think the best thing for now is to distract myself with something nice and funny, so I will watch some Simpsons - Episodes now.

4. How do I feel right now?
More sad and tired than really urgy. I think I want to do si to comfort myself so I have to do something nice for me now.

5. How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will get this relieve I always get with seeing blood and feeling the pain later and this nurturing wish might be fulfilled in a way.

6. How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I might fall asleep faster and calmer, so quite good. But I won’t be feeling any good tomorrow morning, disappointed and maybe even angry cause my arms are only scarred, there are no fresh or healing wounds.

7. Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I don’t know, tiredness can’t be always avoided and dealing with Andrea would mean not to see her at the moment which isn’t really a good thing either.

8. Do I need to hurt myself?
Hmm, not really I guess.

[StevieLynn]

Hm, maybe get some sleep? You do have some good ideas though, with watching the Simpsons and doing something nice for yourself. Remember that the relief from SI is only temporary. But I think you know that.

Love,
Stevie