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Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  it would make me feel less frustrated, and maybe make the stupid urges go away.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? i can have control in this small part of my life. i will still be lying to everyone around me.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  don't know, yes.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  i hope it at least lasts for today...tomorrow i go see my T, and he makes me feel better talking to him.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  i could clean the house like i'm supposed to. maybe take my mind off SI, maybe make the urge worse. then i'll play my guitar like i want to because i don't want to clean.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  idk. i have to clean no matter what...ugh.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

play my guitar or SI...but i have to clean the house instead.
i don't know...any suggestions?

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  i feel like shit and i don't know why. i keep having urges and try to ignore them.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? yes...i ignored it for a day or so until i finally SI'd.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  play guitar...don't know...i have to clean the house right now and that will only make it worse....maybe not?
• How do I feel right now?
  depressed, lonely, frustrated
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  better. in control. less frustrated.
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  i don't know.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  it doesn't seem to go away, the urge keeps following me. maybe screaming will help...i feel like screaming.
• Do I need to hurt myself?

i feel like i do right now. i just wanna do it so i'll feel better.