Questions to Answer After A Slip
slips are chances to learn. you figure out what stresses are still too hard for you and you can work on how you'll deal with them next time you run into them. so instead of beating yourself up, take action.
- have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
yes - what had happened just before?
I was trying to sleep, but my mind was racing about my ex and about how I am alone, and do not really have anyone - what were you thinking and feeling?
I was feeling alone, ugly, fat, that I will never find love again - why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I ended up hurting myself now as opposed to another time because everyone in the house is asleep and it felt private. The events that led up to it was my mind racing and overthinking everything - how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I should have tried some of my meditation techqunies instead of dwelling - were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
I am not sleeping well right now, I need to talk to the doctor about meds to help with sleep - what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried to calm myself through deap breathing, and it didn't help - in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I really don't know of anything that would have worked for sure. I think I could have journaled, and did guided medatation - name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
next time I will use my crisis box to remind myself of what to do during a crisis, I will post my coping skills list in a place where I can see it - how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
it's not solved, and it won't be, becuase it's all in the past and I have to put it behind me - are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I know I will be in that place again because my mind is my worst enemy. I will recognize it because I will begin to get overwelmed - what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I will try to journal, post a "before" post on the bord when I get the urge, and try my guided mediatation
About Opportunities to SI
Opportunity to Self-Harm seems to be a common theme. Think about why opportunities are important to slips and learn why opportunity is important to you.
- What made that opportunity more appealing than any other?
it is the eaisest way to get relief - Did you make an opportunity or was it there for the taking?
there for the taking - What would you have done if there was no opportunity, how would you have handled your urge?
prolly would have bit my nails, or scratched myself - If there had been no opportunity would your urge to self-harm have increased or decreased?
increased - What consitutes opportunity for you? Being alone? having new tools? waiting for the right feeling?
being alone, having a lighter, the way I feel - If your opportunties were taken away, how would you feel?
I would be scared
After You Beat an Urge
How do you beat your urges? Examine how you beat the last one so it can help you beat the next one.
- Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?
yes - If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?
feeling worthless, being scared, feeling out of control. I figured them out by reflecting on how I really felt - What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?
I painted, played with some toys, and went on BUS to vent - Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?
at the time, with what I have, yes. - If No - What coping skills got me through?
- Why do I think they worked?
- How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?
I can reflect on how I feel and deal with the feelings rather than just hurt myself
*edit* instead of going through all these questions again today, I just want to say that I had another slip for most of the same reasons