bus

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  it will make the pain real.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  it will bring pain. it will take nothing away.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  I do not want to feel hurt and lonely by such stupid things and hurting myself definitely won't help get me closer to feeling that way.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  The relief will fade very quickly into guilt, shame and anger at myself.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  read...not sure how to change the situation....it's a distration though
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  I will be very angry with myself if I hurt myself. I don't know how I will feel if I don't....probably still urgey and anxious, but at least not mad at myself.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
  cry, scream, reach out to someone

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  It makes the pain real.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  Sure. I ignore it until the urge lessens and remind myself of all the reasons not to do it (self-disappointment, disappointing others) Proud that I was able to hold out.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  Cried, came to BUS. GO to bed.
• How do I feel right now?
  tired, alone
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  more alone, angry
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  Very, very angry
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  I am the stressor so no, keep talking to my T about it though
• Do I need to hurt myself?
  Not yet, no

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.