Before
Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 2:48 am
Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The situation will not change and will remain despite which actions I take. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
I'll feel an immediate yet short-term calm/relief most certainly followed by shame. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Its hard to put a quantifier on it as its never occured to me to keep that metric - What usually happens after is that I isolate myself. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Not sure - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel defeated. If I resisted I'd feel anxious and would still be obsessing about my next SI. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want a hug from a friend without feeling like I'm under a microscope.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
It gives me a point of focus other than what is emotionally painful to me. It provides immediate relief and makes me feel calm and less anxious. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have been here before and had a decent grip on it until recently. I coped by keeping myself busy with things that interest me - however I'm incredibly unmotivated lately. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
- How do I feel right now?
Overwhelmed. Sad and frightened. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
In control and calm. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'll feel defeated and ashamed. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I don't see how. - Do I need to hurt myself?
No - but I really want to.