bus

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait. Yes, I had to have them bandaged by my doctor because they ended up being worse than I ment, but I'm trying my best not to pick at the bandaid.

what had happened just before? Nothing spicific, but I've been really depressed for a long time, and have been having constant thoughts of SU

what were you thinking and feeling? Feeling suicidal, just wanted a release from the depression if even only for a little while. All I could think about was SI and I was tired of trying to use coping skills.

why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
There wasn't really a final straw...just a bunch of stuff leading up to it and I just got tired of dealing with everything

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw. Depression kept getting worse, I felt like I was falling behind in school again, I dont' want to go out witih friends anymore, don't want to go to school, don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Lately I feel like I have nothing else to live for and the only reason I haven't committed SU is because of my little brother and I can't do that to him.


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
A recent med change made everything worse because of physical side-effects and it didn't do anything to change the depression and I was still constantly wanting to hurt myself

what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried talking to people, cleaning, cooking, doing homework, being on my computer as much as possible at night, but nothing seems to work because I don't really want to keep trying...


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I dont' know...I think they'll only work if I want them to.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
This is hard...I really don't want to try anything else at the moment...I know that's a terrible answer


how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
The situation isn't resolved. I'm still really depressed and the depression is only getting worse. I dont' know what I can do to make the situation any better except work with my therapist, but there's only so much she can do for me if I'm not willing to do much to help myself at the moment.

are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
Yeah, as I still am. I can recognize it as depression, but I don't know how to fight it or get out of it.


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
I dont' know...I can't answer this question tonight

I'm sorry.

What you said about not really wanting to try sounds like a problem I've dealt with. I've found that it only makes things worse if I try and fail, then discount my efforts by telling myself I must not really have wanted to succeed. It works better if I give myself at least partial credit every time I try at all.

I don't know if it's the same for you or not.

Have you talked to the doctor about the problems with the med change? Because it sounds like changing to something with less bad side effects (either changing back, or trying something new and different) would alleviate a lot of the problems.