bus

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  I will be calmer and more relaxed.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  %
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  At the moment (meaning these weeks or months) I don't care about stopping so I won't feel too bad about it. Hurting myself is okay for me so far. I just wanna avoid it tonight.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  Hmm, I guess for quite some time, maybe some weeks or so, not sure. And it depends on other things too, mostly if I get in triggery situations and so.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  Right now: sleep would be the best help though I have trouble falling asleep. Other than that: being on bus, cuddling my dog, listening to music. But I will try sleep first, it's really late here too...
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  I think I will feel quite okay, hopefully still more relaxed. Though it would suck that I have to hide it when I see my parents. I will feel okay too when I do the other thing though I guess that my urges will be still there.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

Sleep. Quite simple and plain... just sleep. Being tired makes everything so much more worse.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  
  I'm not really sure. Tiredness is an important thing and that I haven't cut a lot or deep in quite some time. I miss cutting.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  
  Lots of times. Tried skills, managed to avoid cutting sometimes and other times not. Felt mostly good when I managed to avoid it.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  
  Have distracted myself. Will try to sleep now as this would be the best help right now. If that doesn't work I can distract myself on bus or cuddle with my dog.
• How do I feel right now?
  
  Very urgy, very tired, restless, thinking too much.
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  Calmer and more relaxed.
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  Still calmer and hopefully more relaxed. Not much disappointment or shame at the moment.
  I would feel mostly okay though I'd be unhappy that I have to hide it outside and when meeting my parents. And it depends on how the doc in the hospital would be.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  Not really since sleeping problems are very constant. Might think of things how to deal better with it but I have thought about it a lot and tried lots of things to sleep better too.
• Do I need to hurt myself?
  
  I will definitely trying it without cutting.