after...

[zombiepeople]

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
For the most part...they're fairly minor so don't need much attention

what had happened just before?
Nothing spicifically, just had been fighting the urge for a really long time and was sick of fighting something that wasn't going to go away

what were you thinking and feeling?
I was thinking about how much relief I would get from it and how depressed and hopeless I felt before.


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?
I felt like I put it off as long as I could, and the timing and everthing just seemed to work out. There was not really a final straw event, just a bunch of stuff that all built up together then the feeling of hopelessness as I can't seem to do anything about the bad things going on in my life to change them (if that made any sense)

how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.
I suppose I could have talked to someone about how I was feeling, but talking wouldn't have made the urges go away and really wouldn't have helped much in the way of feeling so trapped in everything.

were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?
Not really...I take my meds faithfully and had been sleeping fairly well.


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?
I tried self-soothing things like taking a hot shower or getting tea, cleaniing house, talking to my brother, reading, journaling, getting on here, playing computer games, e-mailing people, reading, watching TV, watching movies, doing crossword puzzles...everything and anythign I could think of....nothing ever makes me feel as good as SI, so I kind of gave up in a way as I was sick of just having to constantly distract myself.


in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?
I still can't see what would have helped, though I'm sure there had to have been something...maybe I just didn't try hard enough

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.
Talk to someone about feeling badly and make sure I'm not alone if I'm feeling really urgy I suppose

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?
The situation isnt' resolved and there isn't anything I can do to resolve it as it's out of my control...I don't feel any better about it at all and am still really urgy to SI.


are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?
I'm very likely to be in this emotional place again. I recognize it by knowing I feel depressed and hopeless and will work harder somehow on overcoming those feelings.


what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.
talking to someone, getting on here or journaling, working on my scrapbook