not feeling safe

[Stefani140]

1.how will this situation or feeling change if I hurt myself?

I won't want to cry anymore, I won't have to think about this anymore. All the thoughts of wanting to cut will go away.


2.what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring back my focus and my good mood. It will take away the 12 days I haven't cut and my ability to be completely healed for my trip.


3.if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will I do then?

Maybe a few days, unless something upsets me again...then less. then I'll want to cut again.


4.what is something I could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in?

I could talk about what upset me. I could ask someone to help distract me. It will change my thinking right now until the urge to cut goes away.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?


5.what do I really want to do right now?

I want it to stop. I want to stop thinking these things, I want to stop dwelling on it. I DO NOT want to cry at work.


6.Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

Because I know that if I cut I'll be ok again. Feeling like my boyfriend is being an insensitive clod who's taking advantage of me...I know he's not but it upset me and I keep dwelling on it.


7.Have I been here before?

In the most general terms, yes. In more specific terms, no.


8.What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

I've talked to friends to distract myself. I did some useless surveys to pass the time. I listened to music. Answered these questions. What else...I really don't know.


9.How do I feel right now?

desperate, emotional, upset, angry, anxious

10.How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

relief

11.How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

Guilty, shameful.


12.Do I need to hurt myself?

I don't know.