before

tools to help you assess your urges before you give in to them, and to help you understand and learn from slips after they happen. by posting here, you're saying that you are serious about exploring the feelings behind your self-harm in depth, whether you're ready to stop hurting yourself or not. to request posting access, click usergroups above and join before and after.

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nobody girl
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Post by nobody girl » Wed Dec 17, 2008 8:24 am

How will this situation or feeling change if I hurt myself?

The situation will not change. I will feel better for a short time.

What will hurting me bring to the situation? What will it take away from the situation?

Hurting myself won’t bring anything to the situation because nobody will know about it. It will make me feel better by allowing me to express my anger and frustration.

How do I want to feel about this in the long run? Is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I will not feel better in the long run. Hurting me leaves scars that make me feel worse about myself.

If hurting me seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? What will I do then?

I will probably feel better for a day or so, after that I will be in the same place that I am now.

What is something I could do now instead of hurting myself? How will it change the situation I’m in? How long will that change last, and what will I do then?

I don’t know. Listen to music. Take a drive and try to get my mind off of things.

How will I feel tomorrow if I hurt myself? How will I feel tomorrow if I do the other thing I came up with?

I will feel better for a time and then so sad that I’m stuck with these scars and still resorting to self-injury to make me feel better. If I try the alternatives I may feel bad feelings that I want to avoid. I may end up crying.

What do I really want to do right now? How can I best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I am angry. At myself for all of my inadequacies. I want to punish myself. I could tell someone about how I am feeling (doesn’t seem possible) or avoid the object that I use to harm myself and go to bed.

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sixtyfoothigh
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Re: before

Post by sixtyfoothigh » Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:39 am

nobody girl wrote:If I try the alternatives I may feel bad feelings that I want to avoid. I may end up crying.
Maybe feeling those feelings and trying to deal with them will be positive in the long run. There's nothing wrong with crying.

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nobody girl
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Post by nobody girl » Sun Dec 21, 2008 5:33 pm

have you taken care of your physical wounds? if not, go do that now. we'll wait.
Yes.

what had happened just before?

i had a bad day at work. i went home and started drinking. i was embarrased about something that happened earlier in the day i could not stop thinking about it.


what were you thinking and feeling?

i was was feeling irritable and anxious. i was angry and frustrated with myself.


why did you end up hurting yourself then instead of some other time? was there an event that was the final straw? what was it?

things have been hard lately. my gradmother died 2 weeks ago so i have been having to deal with that as well as finals and working in a different department at my job. i had not self-injured for a few weeks and i was feeling things that hurting myself helps me avoid.


how did the situation get to the final straw stage? trace it back through the events that led up to the last event. look for some point at which you could have made a different decision and not arrived at the final straw.

i am having a hard time coping. i think that drinking to much that night impaired my judgement and contributed to me giving in to the urge to si.


were there outside factors like drugs, alsohol, being off your meds, lack of sleep, etc? can you address those in the future? how?

yes. alcohol and lack of sleep. i am having a lot of trouble sleeping and i feel tired most of the time. i don't know what i can do about it. i think that i need to work on getting help because i don't know what to do.


what other ways of coping did you try besides self-harm? how well did they work?

i listened to music. i told my family about the embarrasing situation and we laughed about it, but i still felt bad about it.

in retrospect, are there coping methods that you now realize might have helped? what were they?

exercise. going out somewhere, maybe shopping or a movie.

name at least two things you will do to help yourself remember those coping methods if you end up in this situation again.

exercise
walk the dog
go to the mall

how do you feel about the situation that led to self-harm now? is it resolved? if not, what are some steps you might take toward resolution?

there is nothing i can do about it. things like this would not be as bad if i did not have so much social anxiety, but i don't know what to do about it.


are you likely to be in that emotional place again? how will you recognize it when you're in that situation?

it will probably happen again. its not difficult to tell because the feeling are so intense i just want them to go away.

what will you try before you resort to self-harm if you're in that situation again? list three specific things you will commit to trying.


try to be with others because i will not si unless i am alone.
watch a funny movie
exercise
work on a craft

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