write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
Well, in the long term, it wont change (but then again, nothing will change it in the long term). In the short term, I can let all the hurt and anger out. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring temporary relief and make me able to cope the next few hours. But it will mean I will have more scars and then if mum sees, she’ll go nuts. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I’ve given up wanting to feel good, coz I know I’m not good, so I don’t see the point in not hurting – at least I’ll get temporary relief. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will last a few hours probably. I’m not sure what I’ll do after that. Wait for the next crisis to hit and then hurt again.. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could pray. That will take me away from the tools. Don’t know how long it will last though. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I cut myself, I’ll have mixed feelings of disgust and “I knew I was bad”. If I pray, I’m probably just going to cut tomorrow. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to prove that I’m not bad. But I am, so I can’t prove that.
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I’ve let down everyone. I’ve caused mum and dad to fight AGAIN. I’m letting down my brother coz I just don’t know how to make things better for him after he’s been here for me so much and through everything. I’m useless at work because I can’t ask for help so my staff are getting stressed. I’m just worthless and shouldn’t be here. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Yeah, I’ve been here before. I somehow just do nothing and an even worse situation comes along and that puts this one into perspective. But I don’t want things to get worse. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I’m posting on here. I could try praying. - How do I feel right now?
Scared. Really scared - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
While doing it, I’ll cry my eyes out and cuss myself a lot. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Guilty and guilty which will probably just make me cut more. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
I don’t think I can avoid it. I’m just bad. - Do I need to hurt myself?