Before :(
Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 6:40 pm
how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
I will not feel anymore. I will have my concentration back.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring: concentration/numbness
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I would like to feel happy... how simple is that!!!? Hurting myself at least takes the pain away for a little while... Hurting myself will not necessary bring me closer to the situation, but I do not know if it would take me farther either.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Lately it's been daily. I hope it will last the night time at least. What do I do then... well... try to delay myself AGAIN and si eventually...
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Well, I have my t appointment in 30 minutes... so if I can delay until then... I could write or draw perhaps. It might bring concentration to me, which would mean I will not fuze out as much in the session today.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I hurt myself I'll feel worried about scars and covering it up.
If I try something else I'll just continue feeling urgy.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to see blood and feel numb.
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I am very sad and frustrated and feel out of control and alot of self-hatred. I just want to cut away my worries and cut away the pain. I also just tried to eat a snack and I couldn't finish it and I feel sad because I ate that much even and I feel out of control because my ed is controlling me. I'm hating my body and hating me alot right now.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Yes and no. I either went for a walk or sied. After the walk I usually go to sleep (night-time walks)... so I just am still avoiding how I feel. After si-ing I feel relief sometimes and a little better, although I worry about scars.
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I've been doing this to delay myself before I head to my t appointment.
How do I feel right now?
Very upset, like sobbing and breaking down and dying and sickened by how I look.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Relief, concentration on the cutting and not on the pain.
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Afterwards I might be able to concentrate and I'll feel little. Tomorrow morning I'll probally feel urgy again.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Get used to the idea of eating... I can avoid stress by organizing some.
Do I need to hurt myself?
I feel like I do.
If I do I will have to after the t appointment... so maybe the t appointment will help... but how do I tell her how I am feeling right now?
I will not feel anymore. I will have my concentration back.
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Bring: concentration/numbness
how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I would like to feel happy... how simple is that!!!? Hurting myself at least takes the pain away for a little while... Hurting myself will not necessary bring me closer to the situation, but I do not know if it would take me farther either.
if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Lately it's been daily. I hope it will last the night time at least. What do I do then... well... try to delay myself AGAIN and si eventually...
what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Well, I have my t appointment in 30 minutes... so if I can delay until then... I could write or draw perhaps. It might bring concentration to me, which would mean I will not fuze out as much in the session today.
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
If I hurt myself I'll feel worried about scars and covering it up.
If I try something else I'll just continue feeling urgy.
what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to see blood and feel numb.
Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I am very sad and frustrated and feel out of control and alot of self-hatred. I just want to cut away my worries and cut away the pain. I also just tried to eat a snack and I couldn't finish it and I feel sad because I ate that much even and I feel out of control because my ed is controlling me. I'm hating my body and hating me alot right now.
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Yes and no. I either went for a walk or sied. After the walk I usually go to sleep (night-time walks)... so I just am still avoiding how I feel. After si-ing I feel relief sometimes and a little better, although I worry about scars.
What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I've been doing this to delay myself before I head to my t appointment.
How do I feel right now?
Very upset, like sobbing and breaking down and dying and sickened by how I look.
How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
Relief, concentration on the cutting and not on the pain.
How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Afterwards I might be able to concentrate and I'll feel little. Tomorrow morning I'll probally feel urgy again.
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
Get used to the idea of eating... I can avoid stress by organizing some.
Do I need to hurt myself?
I feel like I do.
If I do I will have to after the t appointment... so maybe the t appointment will help... but how do I tell her how I am feeling right now?
Lena
. I delayed until my T appointment and delayed afterwards too and didnt delay