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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  I will feel temporarily better. It will probably increase the probability that I will keep si'ing.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  It will bring relief. It will take away the anger.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  I want to be past this. I don't want to do this anymore. Farther away.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  It'll last a couple hours. maybe less. Probably sleep.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  Walk. It would take me away from the stressor. The change would last for at least the length of the walk, and I'd probably come home.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  ashamed. maybe guilty. like I fucked up. If I walk, I'll be pissed because i'll be in more trouble.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I want to get away from here. I can try doing something other than hurting myself.

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  anger. resentment. the feeling that i'm trapped. Yelling, and getting in trouble. and the stress from it.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes. I usually si'ed. Better for a while, and then usually worse.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  Got away from my family. avoid them.
• How do I feel right now?
  upset. angry. like a failure.
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  in control.
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  better. Tomorrow I'll feel ashamed, and guilty.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  Can sometimes avoid it, if i'm not housebound. I could try using other coping methods.
• Do I need to hurt myself?

no. but i'm just so sick of trying not to.[/img]