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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  it won't
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  I don't know
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  I don't want to feel anything about it
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  Its not the best option and the relief doesn't last and then I'll feel worse
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  take a shower, get dressed, take my son out to breakfast
  
  It'll get me out of my head for awhile
  
  I don't know
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  like a stupid fuckin nutcase bitch failure
  
  still frustrated, tense, burning inside, fucked, but a nice person, like if I pretend to be normal, maybe I am or can be or remember that I AM
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

run as hard as I can or throw up or wrap myself tight in a blanket, cut or get drunk or stoned

think of when I was a little kid, I wouldn't want to hurt me back then




urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  
  fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckk
  I could write a book, but can't or won't because I'm too ignorant because I quit going to school much around 10 years old and moved around enough to get away with it and stole my school records
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  
  yes
  
  I either cut or I fuckin bucked up and kept my shit together
  
  aujjjljf uytjyd
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  
  made 2 cups of coffee
  
  go take a shower and
  
  take the puppies outside to play and pee when they wake up and
  
  take my son out to breakfast
• How do I feel right now?
  
  like crying but won't or can't
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  good and bad
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  good and bad
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  therapy'd probably be good or not or medication or not I don't know
• Do I need to hurt myself?

no and yes


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

showered and snuggled my puppies and walked outside with them a little and talked to my son, just good morning stuff, not about si, he DOES NOT need to hear this shit and we are going out to breakfast and I feel slightly better, but this si has been fucking nagging at me so much since saturday, my husband was being a dick and he's not a dick and it was just one more thing too many for me, I've been feeling like i'm gonna implode.

stayed very busy all day, tired, but feeling better.

Glad you are feeling better, I find that staying busy often helps.

Thanks herebedragons, today will be a much better day.