Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
it won't but i won't have to feel or think for a while, i'll be justified in punishing myself becasue i've screwed up - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
it'll bring some relief from the feelings, and as usual it'll take away any hope of having other coping strategies - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
further - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
it'll be temproary and then i'll feel bad for having screwed up even more, if i purge it'll go against things i swore i'd never do again - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
this, spending time online, going to watch tv, finish my tidying - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
guilty if i cut or purge, but better about my body if i purge, better for having coped if i don't do either of those, but still stressed and worried - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
i want, i want to hurt, i want to punish myself for being so awful and useless, it's not self protective today it's about hating me more than usual
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
work, friends, msn conversations, the gym, my stupid head and it's thoughts
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
i write these, get to the last question, know that SI is not a need and go and do something else - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
posted, talked to my housemate, listened to music - How do I feel right now?
fat - although fat isn't a real feeling, i feel, unsettled, something i can't put my finger on but things aren't right, i feel self conscious, worried, lonely, confused - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
nothing - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
guilty, stressed more about work - and that's my lightbulb, knowing what tomorrow at work will bring means that i know i can't SI even if i want to, not until tomorrow is over with. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
no real stressor, aother than a general feeling of me being useless, and hopeless and things not going right, i'm struggling to grasp stuff. - Do I need to hurt myself?
no but i really want to right now
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.