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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  The anxiety will go away, this numbness will go away, I'll be able to sleep, I won't have to focus on everyone and how horrible they're treating me.
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  It will probably on bring paranoia of someone seeing my scars and more disappointment but that doesn't register with me right now. I just want the distraction, the blood, the release.
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  Farther and that's what I want right now. I just want to run from everything and since I can't physically I will emotionally through hurting myself.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  Probably last an hour or so. I can keep myself busy and then go to bed after I start to feel sad again.
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  I could go take a bath. That would last about a half hour but there's a bunch of shaving razors in there and I'd probably be even more triggered. I don't know what else to do. Can't watch TV because my little sister is hogging it, can't play video games because my sister has the TV and everyone just wants to smoke so I can't hang out with anyone.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  I'll probably regret it tomorrow if I hurt myself. I don't feel any better the next day if I don't hurt myself, the urges just roll over into the next day until I finally cave...
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I could sit down and perhaps think about what's really making me feel this way. I could write down a list of things that make me feel the need to hurt myself right now.


More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  I've been fighting the urges too long. I hurt myself already today, why not just do it more?
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  I always feel like this, things never really change. I'm stuck in a circle of emotions.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  I tried texting a friend, that only made it worse. I tried to find someone to hang out with tonight, that only made it worse. I tried confronting my problem and that only made it worse...I could just try to go to sleep now I guess...
• How do I feel right now?
  I feel numb. But deep inside I feel frustrated, hysterical, just overall distressed.
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  The pain will make everything real. While I'm doing it I won't think about everything that's bothering me right now.
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  I'll feel better. The urge will have gone away and won't follow me into the next day. I'll probably have forgotten I did it tomorrow morning.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  I don't know how to deal with my stress, that's something I need to work on I suppose...
• Do I need to hurt myself?

Yes. Otherwise i'll just end up doing it tomorrow or the next day. It'll follow me and make me ill until I just collapse....


Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.