I'll be able to put a physical pain/emotion with the wound as opposed to the nameless feelings floating around inside of me.
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
A sense of de-pressurizing. It will return me to "normalcy" It would take away just enough of the emotions to make it (I guess you could say life) bearable.
* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
Much, much farther away. When I hurt myself I break off from people and everything I know.
* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
depends on how badly I hurt myself. But probably only a day.
* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I don't know...I'm starting to feel like its the only thing I can do. When I try to actually talk it out I never get the response that I want. If I just rant about it out loud than I feel like it just vocalizes how selfish I am and it makes me want to hurt myself more. The people I do want to talk to are the people (i think) that are causing these feelings.
* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
sore, guilty, (a small sense of relief for having finally done it) err...I didn't come up with anything else
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel like I'm being ignored, but then I feel guilty for thinking that because those feelings are completely unfounded. I feel like I'm failing with every friendship/relationship I try to start and its all my fault.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes, many times. Every time I turn to some sort of self harm. I felt about the same that I feel now.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
* How do I feel right now?
Like I want to cry and throw things. Kind of like there's a pressure valve about to explode out of me if I don't do something to lessen the feelings in a slower fashion
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
calm...relieved....in control
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
stressed because I've got to now keep my injuries clean and bandaged and inevitably I'm going to have to answer questions from people that I don't want to talk to about this.
* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
no. These feelings are...who I am and I guess a part of me is afraid to lose them. Because then who would I be?
* Do I need to hurt myself?
I think so...but that's just because I see SI as way to keep me from SU. If I just harm myself a little bit it snaps me back into reality and I don't start thinking about SU so much.[/i]