Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
the situation will be the same (as they always stay)
I will feel triumphant, in control and smug - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will make things worse in the long run - won't bring much. It would be a tupid impulsive thing to do. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to know that I have dealt effectively with situations....so no, hurting myself will not bring me closer to that - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
It will last until tomorrow ...when I have therapy and will have to explain relapsing over something rather insignificant - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could go study and then go to bed - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel guilty if I hurt myself and very embarrassed. If I study I will still feel the way I do now , though I won't have to deal with the consequenses of Siing - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
I want to feel less alone and cared for. I want to feel safe ans secure. I don't know what else to do - curl up in bed perhaps
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
A stupid boy (<--- yes, I am aware that this is utterly ridiculous) - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
No. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
sent a friend a text, posted on bus, got something to drink, - I can tidy my room, study, and/ or go to sleep - How do I feel right now?
I feel hurt and sad and angry - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
happy and relieved - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
afterwards I will blame others for it and refuse to take responsibilty , I will try to justify it - tomorrow and will be overcome with shame and guilt - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
ummm...refrain from all contact with the opposite sex ? no...not feasible - Do I need to hurt myself?
No
