before

[monkey]

* How will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The situation remains the same but I replace the tension with guilt.

* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It brings a feeling that I'm in control and will lessen the voices.

* how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel in control. I want to feel strong enough to cope without cutting or drugs or drink. Obviously cutting myself will not get me closer.

* if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
If I cut it will feel good and I'll feel strong and in control for a few hours - longer maybe if the pain stays. When it wears off I'll retreat to bed.

* what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I need to live with how I'm feeling at the moment. Watch some TV. Eat some food. Tell myself I can cut later but do 'x' first. Noone is in control of me except me.

* how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow I'll be OK but after that I'll have to hide the cuts. Again.

* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
Self-protective? nope, never really understood that.
I really want to cut. To get control. False control. My head hurts. Got to keep trying.

[sixtyfoothigh]

I really hope you managed to beat the urge and I'm sorry this didn't get replied to earlier.

Tell myself I can cut later but do 'x' first. Noone is in control of me except me.

Have you seen the scarily long list of coping/distraction stuff in the coping forum? I've always found that useful for when I'm trying to do that.

Take care
S x