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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It won't change, just give me a chance to punish myself even more

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
No, not really change anything but punishing me seems to help short term

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I just want to stop this SI but its out of control, I do it too to much

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief from SI very temporary and then shame and guilt comes in

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Try to distract, my concentration really bad and find it hard to read, watch TV like normal people
how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
stay safe
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I just hate myself, my life and so lonely, full of self hate
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
made a coffee

How do I feel right now?
low, low

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
some kind of release from the constant pain inside of me, like i deserve to hurt

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
shame, guilt, more self hate

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
its there so much though, so not sure
Do I need to hurt myself?
no, not just now anyway
Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

It sounds like you really want to punish yourself through self harm. Perhaps you could try squeezing an ice cube (hey...I think it works, I've tried it) You get the same sort of pain rush, but it's not harmful. Why do you want to punish yourself? Perhaps that's something to look at. You've previously said that you don't need to self injure, so I'd go with that instinct and really probe about why you feel the need to punish yourself and how you can change that desire.

Thank you for your reply. I used to use the ice cubes as a coping technique, should maybe go back to them, it hurts but like you say not so harmful!

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It will get rid of the frustration and anger


what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It makes me feel better but I know it's only short lived then I hate myself even more after.
.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
don't understand.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief doesn't last long , usually go into sleep mode.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Doing this is helping also going into distractions I like. Sorry some of these questions I don't really understand. sorry.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
I will feel like crap tomorrow, guilty, like a failure, i don't know if I would feel any better though?

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure righ


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I just hate myself, my life and so lonely, full of self hate
Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?


What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?


How do I feel right now?


How will I feel when I am hurting myself?


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?


Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

Do I need to hurt myself?

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:



how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
It won't change but I may get some release from the painful memories and flashbacks inside my head

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
No, not really change anything but punishing me seems to help short term

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to stop but I guess I get something from it. It feels hard to fight it just now. Almost like I don't want to fight it tonight.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief from SI very temporary and then shame and guilt comes in, but I also feel SU just now so to SI is a safe option?

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Try to distract, do my psychology homework

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
stay safe
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer



Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I just hate myself and don't feel normal anymore. The word damaged that was used to describe me keeps going round in my head, I was annoyed but really I am damaged, damaged goods and no use.

Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
Been here too many times.

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
Had a glass of wine - I know bad idea

How do I feel right now?
very low, I just want out of life

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
some kind of release from the constant pain inside of me, like i deserve to hurt -

How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
Maybe shame or guilt or maybe I won't care. It just depends these days afterwards

Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
its there so much though, so not sure
Do I need to hurt myself?
yes, i think so

Remember you don't have to answer all the questions if you don't feel up to it.

Managed not to harm

Well done!!! Especially since you really seemed to be struggling right then. Maybe you could write yourself a note/letter. You could write down the date and time you managed to overcome this urge. And maybe what you did to do so and how it felt to manage not to. Next time you have an urge it could act as a reminder that you can win against urges and why you want to.

These are from one of the stickies - you might want to use these questions:

Did I identify what feelings were leading me to want to SI?

If Yes - What were they, and how did I figure them out?

What coping skills did I use to deal with these feelings?

Were these coping skills the most effective I could have used?

If No - What coping skills got me through?

Why do I think they worked?

How can I deal with these feelings more effectively next time, before the urge to SI sets in?

Hurray for you.

S x