before
Posted: Tue Apr 22, 2008 3:37 am
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
"bored" or something and a little lonely - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
i ate but i don't think that was a good choice. walking
would be good but i don't want to. - How do I feel right now?
"armunmf" sad, tired, restless - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
relieved, but mad at myself and disappointed in
myself - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
ashamed. mad at self. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
well i don't think 3+cups of coffee in the evening
helped. so i can not have stimulants at night. i
had insomnia last night, too, for the first time
in awhile. - Do I need to hurt myself?
no, but i guess i don't really know how to calm
down because i'm buzzed from the coffee and
i don't really have anything interesting to do.
i feel sad because there is something i really
want but i don't know how to get it. i saw this
alternative house i want so much to have one
day. to build one on some land somewhere.
but as is i am in debt, broke, jobless, going
to a full time outpatient program for mental
health. did i say in debt? hugely. how will i
ever have anything? the rest of my life will
just be surviving. i don't know how to do
anything else.
i don't need to hurt myself, but its such a
distraction. i could probably use a good
distraction and to try and think more
positively.
i mean, i'm doing a lot better than i was
before and for the first time in a long time
i think i actually could work. so i need to
just keep working what i'm working on,
and not worry too much about the future
just yet. one step at a time.
"it's going to be all right
it's going to be all right.
it is going to be all right."