bus

Before:

Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
  
  The situation will stay the same and as for the feelings, Well I at least like to try to convince myself that they will go away if I cut. Which they will, if only for a while....
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
  
  It will bring RELIEF!!!!!! It woll take away my dignity...
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
  
  I want to feel string and capable of dealing with these type of things. No NO NO. Self injury will not help.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
  
  IT IS NEVER THE BEST OPTION! ok , ok . Sometimes it is - but not now. ...the relief will last a while . Nothing permanent. Tis not worthwile
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
  
  ....Well it now occurs to me that I could actually sort out the underlying issues,.I should talk to the people who I need to talk to and all of that... but for now; I could do something constructive like that maths homework which would take my mind off it or watch TV.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
  
  I will feel HORRIBLE if I hurt myself. I will be very angry indeed....
  I will feel slightly better if I do other stuff instead
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

CRY!!!!

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
  
  I feel overwhelmed. Tired and down. Also issues with my dad, school work pressure as well as coming down from all the excitement of my play which is now over and it's like I just crashed into sadness
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
  
  can't really remember. Usually I hurt myself when Things happen, you know SI being my primary coping mechanism for so so long
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
  
  Come on bus, just sat with the feelings, thought about stuff a lot
• How do I feel right now?
  
  tired
  insecure
  overwhelmed
  sad
  angry
  I want to cry
  I want to scream
  uncomfortable
  stressed
  anxious
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
  
  relieved, happy but really stupid
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
  
  I will be angry and feel guilty
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
  
  does anyone have any ideas on how to aviod life ?
• Do I need to hurt myself?

why does my brain say YES, even though I don't want to and don't need to ?

Hi there,

I think you identified some really good things you could do instead of SI... especially the idea of actually combating the situation (talking to the people you need to talk to etc.) I really really hope you manage to do that and that it works out. If it doesn't then I think your other ideas, like maths homework/tv/bus were all really good as well.

Take care
S x