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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:


how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

I will feel relieved for a short while- and the emotions I am trying to avoid will "disapear" for a bit, but then I will feel guilty and will probably not forgive myself for slipping. SIing will not help the situation in anyway - I am just so used to doing it when I feel like this
what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring instant relief. Everything will stop - if only for a little while, I will feel calm and ni control - I will feel capable of working and functioning as I won't be burdened with the emotions, so I will be able to get things done and be productive
It will make me feel like a failure and that I couldn't deal properly . I will feel stupid and guilty and worthless. It will only help in the short term.


how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

I want to feel in control of my life. I want to be happy and able to deal with anything that life presents me with without a sharp object. I want to feel safe in my own presense. I want to be present and in the moment. Hurting myself is a very stupid idea. It is going to be very destructive- not only in the literal sense...


if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

no, it's the not the best option.... but i WANT TO! *stamps feet and pouts*
relief will last between 5mins and 2 days +-... quite a big range



what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I am currently employing all other coping stratergies . My right arm is covered in red paint made to look like a cat savagely attacked me
am doing these questions, also msging a friend in between {good at multi-tasking} I could do my work - *groans* or anything - make crumpets ...really anything but cut myself. may go throw some ice cubes around, or squeeze them....


how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

I will feel awfull If I hurt myself. I will cry and lie in bed wallowing in self pity. I will feel insanely guilty and most probably bear one hell of a grudge. I will be so so sooooooo regretful and may even cut again b/c... you know what's the point of trying anyway...

I will feel much better if I use other coping methods. I will be proud of myself and realise that it's not so bad and I can survive horrible moments


what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I want to feel secure and safe. I want to feel capable and in control
...oh I dont know! I could do the whole "be nice to myself routine" self soothe n all,....

urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer




Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?

I feel overwhelmed. there is too much going on. I feel out of control and unable to cope. I can't make other change. I am sad.


Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
yes
I ususally cut when I feel like this
I feel good
but then bad
and guilty...always guilty
and somehow it happens again
more recently - I have just gone and practiced my distress tolereance skills and such though

What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?

I have simulated SI with the paint
I have talked to a friend online - though not about me felling urgey..
I have "sat with the feelings"

How do I feel right now?

sad
anxious
lonely
overwhelmed
angry
tired
confused
upset
out of control

How will I feel when I am hurting myself?

relieved
happy
though angry at myself


How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?

terrible, guitly... wait - I'm sure I've said this above??
Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?

I can't avoid life - though sometimes I wish I could...
Yes- I can deal with the stressor better, though
Do I need to hurt myself?

No. maybe. but I don't want to

How are you doing today, Roxi? It sounds like things were really tough and you were experiencing a lot of really intense emotions. I want to credit you for trying a lot of healthy coping strategies and giving these questions some serious consideration. Neither is easy to do.

Thank you so much

yeah, it was a bad night - but I was okay in the end. I was all alone at home trying to work [you know your life is horriblw when your mom and sister both have better social lives than you do... ] and jusy felt overwhelmed and alone - which I was -

also spent most of the night fighting with my computer [we just don't get along...] I wanted columns, he didn't. I persited. The computer won. Arguing with the Technology always seems to execerbate everything...

Am having a better day today, more relaxed, serene and calm. More fighting : The printer this time but I'm doing well. Done a fair amount of work, at least and am not worrying anymore that it has to be absolutely perfect- which is quite a relief.

I'm glad you were okay and managed to get work done. Technology is very frustrating, so I hear you on that.

Hehe I'm sooo with you on the technology thing, been fighting with the new iPod I've got for the last hour and half lol

Hope you win the battle with the printer, call it Peter and argue with it, and when it doesn't reply, you win??? hehe

Jason