bus

how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?

It will be easier to handle because I will feel more in control.

what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?

It will bring control, but it will make me feel guilty, taking away any pleasure that might have come out if it.

how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?

Happier. Well, I suppose not.

if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?

Probably just tonight. After that, the urge will come back, probably stronger.

what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?

I'm not sure. I could try to work... I could look more on Bus. Maybe talk with friends. I don't think any of those would change the situation. Maybe they'd make me feel less urgy. I should probably get to work, because then I can finish the work and watch the Superbowl.

how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?

Guilty and hopeless.
Accomplished, I guess.

what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

I really just want to give up, I think. But I think I'll finish my project and settle down with a nice bowl of ice cream and watch football. I think I can feel that control if I finish my work and get to relax. Thank you, Bus.

How did it go, Lena?

I like your idea about some work, then something you enjoy...finishing your project maybe gives you the sense of accomplishment that SI'ing would have? And rewarding yourself for work is good.

What other ways can you nurture yourself when you feel like this, do you think?

Hope you enjoyed your ice cream and football.

It worked! This was very helpful, so thank you!

Unfortunately, it took me a very long time to finish my project. I did get to catch the tail end of the Superbowl, but the whole lack of motivation thing kept me from my work for a long time.

I felt bad, but I didn't feel the urge anymore. I think I can, in the future, do things that make me feel like I have more control in the situation. I can also do things that relieve stress, but I'm still thinking of ideas for that...