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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:

• how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? I will feel better, I deserve this punishment, I need the relief
• what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? bring -completeness, take - ?
• how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? I want to get past this but it seems so far away and it is soooo soooo hard.
• if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? It will last until it heals and beyond if there is a scar
• what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? I can remember my contract with my t and how important that is to me.
• how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? I will feel better and like a failure. I may feel proud if I remember the contract.
• what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?

Allow myself to feel the pain, be honest with the T as promised. Don't quit


urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.

More Before Questions To Answer

• Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I need punsihmnet becasue I am a bad person.
• Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Yes I am here quite often. I called my T, remembered my contract, text my T, got on distractions, but the distractions now are not good, they scare me.
• What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? I have an appointment with my T...today in 1 hour and 10 minutes, I leave in 40 minutes.
• How do I feel right now? Like I want to die but that is plan B, so I want to cut cut cut, I hurt, I hate, I have no answer and I am scared.
• How will I feel when I am hurting myself? I will feel good, I will enjoy the blood, deserving.
• How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Like a failure and liar.
• Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? I am working on this stressor with my T, I can do no more than I am doing.
• Do I need to hurt myself?

If I did not have an appointment today I might answer yes, but I will be leaving soon and I think I can hold out that long. Get the stop sign that my T told me to get.

i just wanted to say that i'm reading & caring. how did things go with the t session?

sometimes having a tangible reminder that i can keep with me of a promise i've made to someone, etc. helps -- would keeping a contract with your t as a small note you could carry with you, or some other reminder like that, possibly help a little?

possibly that would be helpful. Thank you