Beforrrre
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:54 am
* how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? It won't but it will refocus my apin to something I created instead of something I can't control
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? A control over the intensity of what i feel; it will take away the lack of control I have over the situaton
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now? What I really want is a stop/start switch on life, or a coma button I have complete control over. I don't want to die but I don't want to be. Hurting mself is a "happy" medium.
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? Because I feel numb and ignored.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? I have, and I cut.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? It's too cold to run. I've taken sleeping pills to knock myself out but they have not kicked in.
* How do I feel right now? Restless
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself? Something, which is better than nothing
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Probably disappointed as usual
* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? I want more than anything for this stressor to go away
* Do I need to hurt myself? No, I need to just cease being.
* what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? A control over the intensity of what i feel; it will take away the lack of control I have over the situaton
* what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now? What I really want is a stop/start switch on life, or a coma button I have complete control over. I don't want to die but I don't want to be. Hurting mself is a "happy" medium.
* Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? Because I feel numb and ignored.
* Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? I have, and I cut.
* What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? It's too cold to run. I've taken sleeping pills to knock myself out but they have not kicked in.
* How do I feel right now? Restless
* How will I feel when I am hurting myself? Something, which is better than nothing
* How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Probably disappointed as usual
* Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? I want more than anything for this stressor to go away
* Do I need to hurt myself? No, I need to just cease being.
