Before
Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:45 pm
Before:
Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
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Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself? It really won't change. I'll feel like I've done something about how I'm feeling right now, but it'll be the wrong thing to do -- it won't actually resolve anything.
- what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation? It'll give me a reason to feel what I'm feeling. I don't feel happy, but there's no logical reason for feeling like this, but if I SI then I'll have a reason to be upset with myself.
- how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way? I want to feel happy/normal and I know hurting myself won't do that...it will only make this go on longer.
- if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then? A couple hours maybe a little longer -- then I'll be right back where I am.
- what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then? I could distract myself with the papers I have to work on or something else work related that will get me through the urges, but it's so frustrating because I feel like if I beat it now, it will only come back later.
- how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with? I'll feel upset/ashamed and if I don't, I'll feel okay
- what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point? I don't really know. It's just that I know it will bring me relief in the moment I'm doing it -- I want that sensation/feeling of momentary peace.
- Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then? Distracting myself with other things and keeping busy with my hands.
- What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me? I came on to bus and started doing this. I should write in my journal and really just put down all my thoughts.
- How do I feel right now? Scared because I feel controlled by my urges and can't fully understand now.
- How will I feel when I am hurting myself? Relieved...almost peaceful.
- How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning? Upset, like stopping is just one more thing I've failed to do.
- Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future? I'm not sure...because I can't think of an event/thought that triggered it.
- Do I need to hurt myself?
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