write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
The situation will not change...I cannot change the past. But hurting myself will punish myself for not living my life the way that some people think it should be lived. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
Hurting myself will not bring anything good to the situation. It would only temporarily calm me down and I would have a false sense of control. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel like I am doing the right thing and I want to feel good about my life and the direction that it is heading in. Hurting myself will not help me to be positive about my life. It will probably upset me because I have gone so long without siing, and it would hurt him because he would find out eventually. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
The relief will only last a short time, the next day I will feel like I have to cut again to get the same relief. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
I could stop thinking about the whole situation and forget that it ever happened and do things to convince them that I am living my life the way that they think is right. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow I will feel bad because not only did the situation not change but I will also feel bad about siing. - what do i really want to do right now? how can i best honor the self-protective instinct that has me wanting to self-injure right now?
urges aren't necessarily the enemy. they happen for reasons, and they're an expression of a desire to stay alive and stay sane and keep coping. remember that.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I feel like I need to hurt myself because I am such a bad person. I do not believe that I need to live my life and act the way that many of my friends choose to. I feel like I need to punish myself and siing will do that. Initially, I will have the cuts to hide but then I will have the scars to hide for who knows how long. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I have been here before but it wasn't because of anything anyone said, it was what they didn't say that did it. I felt bad then too, and withdrew even further from them and used school as an excuse to not be around. I felt isolated then and even more isolated now. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
So far, I have occupied my time with cleaning the bathroom and taking care of myself and being around other people who don't think that the way I do things is wrong. I can continue to stay around people so that I will be prevented from siing. I can take care of myself by not being around my tools and surrounding myself with people that do not judge me. - How do I feel right now?
I still feel bad about what happened. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
I will feel relief and a release when I see the blood and feel the pain. I will feel good because I have rightfully punished myself for not acting up to the standards of them. I chose to live with them so it is all my fault. I deserve what I get. - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
After I hurt myself I will feel like I did the right thing in punishing myself for not acting right. Tomorrow morning I will feel bad because I will have to hide the evidence for a long time to come and when he sees it he will be upset/hurt and I will in turn feel really bad for hurting him. - Can I avoid this stressor, or deal with it better in the future?
There is no way to avoid it but I can be more careful in the future in fooling them into believing that I am in fact living up to their stupid expectations just to make living there bearable for the short time I have left there. - Do I need to hurt myself?
