Before You Self-Harm
write down the shadow that's hiding behind the urge. look at it. ask yourself:
- how will this situation or feeling change if i hurt myself?
If I hurt myself the situation might ease off, but after I might feel worse. - what will hurting myself bring to the situation? what will it take away from the situation?
It will bring me some calmness, and will take away the way i'm feeling. - how do i want to feel about this in the long run? is hurting myself likely to get me closer to or farther from feeling that way?
I want to feel ok with myself. I don't know if it'll bring me closer or farer away. Both maybe. - if hurting myself seems like my best option right now, how long will the relief it brings last? what will i do then?
Maybe an hour or two. Then i'll just sleep. - what is something i could do now instead of hurting myself? how will it change the situation i'm in? how long will that change last, and what will i do then?
Instead of...listen to my iPod. It might calm me down, or take my mind off of this. The change will last for as long as it does. i don't know. However long I can sit still. Then I might end up eating food or I might just take a shower. I think that's a good thing. - how will i feel tomorrow if i hurt myself? how will i feel tomorrow if i do the other thing i came up with?
Tomorrow if I hurt myself I'll feel ashamed. if I do the others, I might feel just ok.
More Before Questions To Answer
- Why do I feel I need to hurt myself? What has brought me to this point?
I think I have an eating disorder. Or I think I want to have one. I'm just feeling messed up. - Have I been here before? What did I do to deal with it? How did I feel then?
I've never been here before with these feelings that relate to the ED. - What I have done to ease this discomfort so far? What else can I do that won't hurt me?
I've posted in my place. And talked to a friend. I can listen to angry music. Or something... - How do I feel right now?
Fat, and ugly, and horrible. - How will I feel when I am hurting myself?
blank? - How will I feel after hurting myself? How will I feel tomorrow morning?
I'll feel ok tonight, but tomorrow I might feel upset or ashamed or let down. - Do I need to hurt myself?
I don't know. I really don't. I think so.
